31st Solar Return
“May this year bring me the peace I seek, the joy I deserve, and the fulfillment I work for!”
Happy birthday to me! Every year since turning 28, I have dreaded my birthday. I don't know if it's because 30 was right around the corner or that I just felt I was running out of time! Happy Monday and 3-day weekend to some of you! I hope that you all got some rest and crushed some goals! This weekend for me was pretty awesome! I took my 31st trip around the sun and spent some time with those I love! Here is the thing about birthdays, or at least for me. Each year, I progressively learn more about myself. I learn to love myself more and smile more. I will take this year in stride and continue to build on the lessons of previous years!
When I turned the big 3-0 last year, I honestly felt like a failure. I thought that I hadn't done anything with my life and wasted the previous 15 years; yea, I know, DRAMATIC, right. But that is how I felt. I didn't have the job I thought I deserved, and I didn't have the amount of money that I wanted! All I could Focus on were the things I didn't have, thus causing the beautiful things I DID have to suffer. I spent so much time doubting myself, abilities, callings, destiny, the reason for being, my life, just my existence. As well as questioning every choice I had made to get me to this point. One thing about the mind is that if you allow yourself to get sucked in, it can cause an uncontrollable spiral into a dark abyss of depression. I knew I didn't want to go back there because I worked so terribly hard to pull myself out.
Vulnerable Moment:
Every year since turning 28, I have dreaded my birthday.
I felt that I had all this education, experience, and the bills and diplomas to prove it, but I had been reduced to this lowly entry-level position. When I tell you there is a fine line between arrogance and not settling, it's like paper-thin! I didn't do much for my birthday last year because I didn't feel worth much! I knew this year would be different when I began to get excited about my next solar return! I haven't had that feeling for a while! It was the Wednesday before my birthday, I walked past the mirror in my hallway, and I stopped, looked at myself, smiled, and said, "This is 31," and I didn't cringe. I felt zen. So I took that as a testament that 31 WILL be a phenomenal year for me! It has already started, so cool!
“A birthday is a blessing and a celebration of peace, life, and love”
I went axe throwing with my boyfriend, ate some delicious ice cream, had some dill pickle and jalapeno cheddar popcorn (two different types), lol, had dinner with my family, and got some pretty neat gifts! In previous years I have been known to celebrate the whole month, this year I think the last three weeks will suffice (lol)! Here are a few pics from this past weekend's shenanigans. Stay tuned for next weekend because IT'S ABOUT TA BE LIIIITTTTT! May this year bring me the peace I seek, the joy I deserve, and the fulfillment I work for! "
A birthday is a blessing and a celebration of peace, life, and love”-Jazz
We each have our perceptions of what birthdays mean, and we each handle, celebrate, and experience them in different ways. I believe that this year, for me, is the start of a new perspective and perception. I will do my absolute best to funnel my energy into myself, into the belief that I am worthy, capable, and strong. I will push myself to realize that timing is everything and everything in bad timing is disastrous. There is nothing that I can't do if I focus. YOU TOO! The strength you seek is already within you. You just have to learn how to use it! To anyone celebrating a birthday in October, happy solar return to you, Kings, and Queens. Always remember, if you hold your head too low, your crown will fall!
As always, thank you ALL for allowing me to share my passions and experiences with you! I hope that my blog inspires you to go after what you want and believe in yourself because I believe in you! Now strike your POWER POSE- We got this, LET’S GET TO IT!!
Keep Shining Loves
-💕Jazz