Lately, it’s been more like so stressed, so stressed, and lots of sadness 😭! From job frustrations to trying to figure out life (eye roll), it’s been one thing after another for ya girl! But let me tell ya’ll I WILL GET THROUGH! I would LU-Hu-OVE to go through life every day with NO stress<- controllable, and happiness<-possible, and I am trying really hard to get there, but I am driving the struggle bus right now!! So what did I decide to do about it, you ask? I am taking myself on a #90DayJourney of #SelfDiscovery! 

Over the last maybe 2-3 YEARS, I have not felt like myself, I haven’t like the way I looked, I haven’t liked the way I felt, and I just felt like I was spiraling out of control for no reason, so on /march 8th I said to myself, you need a change and a TRUE change! So here we are. 

Why I started: I started this because I wanted to permit myself to be free; I wanted to give myself the option to determine the outcome of my day. There are times when we think that “life sucks”, or “this is always happening to me” when in reality, it’s how we are responding to the misfortune or the mishap that is causing us undue stress or frustrations we are feeling. Therefore, I wanted to change my thinking and be that truly confident person everyone thinks I am. Vulnerability moment, I wanted to discover my strengths, weakness, shortcomings, and why I felt less than why I felt like i couldn’t be as beautiful as other people were telling me that I am. I wanted to see myself the way those that love me see me! I started this journey to be that change, to be that inspiration, to be that foundation, but not for myself, but for the children I want to have, for the legacy I want to leave, and for the Honor of my mother! I started this journey to bend my faith, break myself, test my endurance, and push the boundaries of my life so that I can mold a new me and truly learn who Jazsmaine is!

What I hope to accomplish: On this journey that I started with the #7DayRefocuChallenge, I hope to accomplish stability, power, grace, and clarity. I want to be grounded, and I want to approach a trying situation with a level head and facts. My goals are as follows

1. Be able to say WHO I am

2. Be confident in WHAT I do

3. LOVE me authentically, wholeheartedly, and genuinely

4. Find the strength to chase my dreams and the will to keep going even after I stop

5. Live out my truth, walk with courage, and crush my dreams and leave a legacy of greatness

My Why: When going on a journey like this, I learned that you have to have a strong enough WHY because when things get hard, which they will, your WHY has to be the thing that grounds you and re-focuses your attention, so you don’t forget your purpose. So my Why is ME. I am doing this for ME. I have to love myself enough to KNOW that I AM worth it and that I DESERVE to love what I see when I look in the mirror both inside and out! So, as things have gotten difficult on this journey, I remember that my WHY is ME, which is strong enough to revert my attention. When I don’t feel like it, I think of ME. When I want to eat crap, I think of ME. When I want to pop off recklessly, I think of ME! This has kept me focused, that and keeping a journal of the day’s events and feelings!

Questions I will be answering:

My family is amazingly supportive, and I think that is important on a voyage such as this! M baby sister sent me a Pinterest link of 50 questions to answer to find my best self. With that being said, some of those questions are:

1. What do I love about my life?

2. What do I feel my life is missing?

3. Top 25 bucket list things?

4. Goals for the next month?

5. When am I the happiest version of myself?

These questions at this moment are difficult for me to answer, and it is my prayer that as I go on this journey of self-realization and discovery that the questions will become increasingly easier to answer and answer honestly! 

How it’s going: This has been truly liberating, although as I said, some of those questions have been difficult to answer, I still am so grateful that my body, mind, soul, everything has been so generous in the opening up and willingness to accept something different and allow the change to happen. I am eternally grateful that my WHY has been strong enough to sustain my focus while traveling through this! I am only a few weeks in at this point, and I pray that God continues to grant me the peace, clarity, willpower, tenacity, and vivaciousness to continue.

*update to come later*

As always, thank you ALL for allowing me to share my passions with you! I hope that my blog inspires you to go after what you want and believe in yourself, because I believe in you! Now strike your POWER POSE- We got this, LET’S GET TO IT!!

Keep Shining Loves

-💕Jazz