The Learned Fool
Still She Runs
Still She Runs
Dashing past, breathless and weak, she looks for her savor to lift her to her feet. She stands, shaky, but there. Drunk feeling, overwhelmed, and delusional in the same. Now here she juggles four, five, six; she is losing control! 'AHHHHHH" I just can't take it anymore. The pain, the defeat, the brokenness, I quit! Dropping it all and turning on a dime back in time when all was fine. Eyes closed,heart-pounding, she feels the breeze; I'm here, she believes. Taking a step, and before she realizes it, down she goes 300, 400, 500 feet; this is how it ends for me. As if, like magic, she makes it through without a bruise, only a scratch or two. NO, she shouts with ferous anger; WHY can't I just be finished. Again she tries, traffic will do, yet she makes it through and through. She gives up and accepts her destiny; triumphant she must be and covered she must feel. Onto her feet, she heads back down; man, what a rush. I think ill keep you around. Keep Shining Loves-💕Jaz“She closed her eyes and fell 500 feet”
Today you see, is one a bit different, the story of a young girl who, despite her faults, made it to the top. This, my friends, is her journey. For satire's sake, we'll start in the middle. Lately, she's just been anxious and worried, her mind can't form a coherent thought to save a soul, and her strength is fleeting faster than a feather in the wind. She knows she must push, but she can't find the motivation, so she sleeps, cries, and eats her pain away! Ok, I'm going to do better, she promises herself. I can't think, I feel like a failure, and I just want this to end! She needs some air, so she straps on her sneakers, coat, scarf, and hat, grabs her puppy, and they head off on a 10-mile walk into the darkness. With no direction, she starts to walk.
Vulnerable Moment:
Each time i think I’m getting better something happens and I question my strength
The frigid temperature freezes her hands and boils her blood. The conflicting conditions take her for a spin, and she runs, runs hard and fast to get away from the pain. Before long, she looks up and is further from home than she realized. Welcome to Pemberton! Wow! 20 miles. Where did the time go? How did I get here, and WHERE IS MY PUPPY! She frantically searches for her bearings and her puppy, defeated she lay in a historical ball on the icy gravel. Before long, she feels something wet and warm on her hand, she looks up, and relief passes through her! She expellees a soul clinching cry of frustration and agony as she realizes she has broken her arm!
“Her captor grabbed her”
In her frantic panic, she rips her scarf from around her neck and makes a sling. She decides to wait till morning to make the trek back. Off in the distance, she is being watched. She makes a bed of sticks and leaves, snuggles with her puppy, and closes her eyes. Before long, she feels a brush, her puppy alert, her eyes pop open, and there is nothing. Back to sleep, she drifts. Swoosh, bang, past the dust and on gravel, face down, she reaches for the ground but can't grip it. She lets out a howl of pain as, in her frenzy, she forgets her arm is broken. She realizes it's do or die; she kicks and bites and is promptly punched and slapped. She doesn't give up and finds her strength. SNAP, she's free; she's up, her puppy by her side, through the bushes, past the branches, into the foliage, and boom. "did you think it would be that easy ."Her captor grabs her, she gives her puppy a command, and he flees, she's a fighter, and she doesn't go down without a fight.
It takes a village to raise a child right; it also takes a village to save them!
Well, guys, it's another week, and I have officially started training. The first two days weren't much to boast about, pretty basic stuff. I do not talk much during these situations, I like to get my information and put it into action, but for some reason, with this class, you have to interact; go figure. My training class is at a different location than ill be working, and a bit closer to my house for the next few months. I can save on that gas, lol! But not much to update you all about on the job front this week. I am still working on my mental health to improve and be stronger. I'm looking for a therapist, so drop them in the comments if you know one who offers online appointments, preferably a woman. I have also realized that I need to get better with so many things. This week I got so overwhelmed with "the stuff" that I didn't focus on the execution and made some avoidable mistakes! But that is ok because I have learned from them and it won't happen again! What about you all! How did your week go?
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you guys, I started my massages back! So this Saturday I went to get my now monthly massage!! WOOT WOOT! Here is the sad part, after she was finished, she said, are you ok because you are too young to have so many kinks and tension points! She even offered to give me another 30 minutes because she said I needed it! Guys, I wanted to cry right there. I knew I had been a little unbalanced, but I thought I was handling it when I was internalizing it! I said that to say; that sometimes we feel we are ok when we are actually hurting ourselves inside. So what am I saying? be sure that you aren't keeping it in when you are frustrated, but you are healthily expressing that energy. Because sometimes our outward pains started long ago, on the inside! But guys, I am trying to get better, and until then, and even after then, I will keep rocking with you all, giving you my authentic self, in whatever shape it is at the time! Thank you all for your support, and I will catch yall up next week!
Just A Reminder
Black Girls
Will ALWAYS
Be MAGIC!
As always, thank you ALL for allowing me to share my passions and experiences with you! I hope that my blog inspires you to go after what you want and believe in yourself because I believe in you! Now strike your POWER POSE- We got this, LET’S GET TO IT!!
Keep Shining Loves
-💕Jazz
